most_unwanted | [Video]

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[Video]

[Things have settled down. Between experiments, amusement parks, abductions and drafts, this is the first nice calm stretch of time he's had in a while. So Mulder's hanging out in the Battle Dome. He's been coming there a lot more lately. The new features interest him, and there are places from home he can't help revisiting. Not always to fight, since it's no longer required, though he throws those scenarios in sometimes too. But mostly he's in there obsessively going back through particular scenes.]

[At the moment, Mulder can be seen sitting in the living room where Samantha disappeared from. The board game Stratego is still set up in place near him, the game left unfinished. It's exactly as the room looked all those years ago. A blinding bright light flashes somewhere in the background.]

I wonder what determines the point in time we're taken from? It appears entirely random from all that I've encountered so far. Almost like someone's throwing darts at a timeline or choosing those times out of a hat. A really ugly hat. I also wonder... why some people are brought here after death. [Jonathan. Gem. ...Sigh.] It doesn't seem fair, to grant someone a new life only to throw them back eventually anyway.

...speaking of that, I've been curious about something for a while. [And needing to expand his files, he's already delved into kidnappings, revival has always been somewhere on his list too.] If anyone who's died before, either here or at home, wouldn't mind indulging me for a couple of questions? I won't ask how it happened or anything, just... some related details on the topic. Thanks in advance.

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Yeah, all of 'em happened back at home. Whenever I run out of Honeycomb, I die a little while.

[She shrugs, shifting to peer into the viewscreen better.] I dunno... I just do. Same with Banjo. We never die very long 'cause we're the main characters...

That's almost like me going too long without sunflower seeds, though it's not literal in my case. [He just really likes having them to munch on, out of habit.]

Ah, right, you're operating within a game universe. [He has to think about something.] You don't... still need the Honeycomb here, or do you?

Hey, sunflower seeds? You've got good taste. [She's a bird. Seeds are cool.]

As for the Honeycomb - I know I have it, I just... don't see people drop 'em when I beat 'em, here. None of those Third Party guys dropped any when I got done thrashing them!

... I got other ways to gain 'em back here, though. Like that funny healing magic stuff. And sleeping a lot. I'm too good to lose 'em most of the time, though!

[Thoughtfully:] A couple of other people died in my last game, too - but we revived some of 'em later. [Not the villains, of course. They clearly deserved to die.]

Yeah, this place doesn't function like a game, as interesting as it could be to experience... though I'd better not say that too loud, our mad scientist overlords might get ideas.

...At least you revived the people who mattered. Did they just come to or was there some process to that?

[Kazooie nods briskly, grinning a little at his question.] Well, it's kinda funny - y'see, Grunty killed Worm-breath, and then she used her Big O' Blaster to take King Dingaling or whoever's - [- she never gets his name right -] - life force.

... She was just a skeleton, so she needed lots of life force to get her body back after Banjo 'n' I trapped her under a rock for two years. [She is oddly proud-sounding about this fact.]

Anyway, I undid it eventually 'cause I just hit some buttons on the B.O.B. and got 'em back!

All it took was hitting a few buttons to fix everything? Do I ever wish that could happen in the non-game world...

Boy, I wish I could've seen Jamjars' face! He really had to eat humble pie after that 'cause he was being a jerk! [And so was Kazooie, though she conveniently admits this. Refusing to revive Bottles until Jamjars apologized? That's an asshole action if there ever was one.]

'Course, we couldn't save everybody. Grunty and her stupid ugly sisters killed the entire Gray Jinjo family when they ran over their house with the HAG-1...

It happens that way sometimes... even in my line of work, you can't always save everyone. You can sure as hell try to, though.

Yeah... [Kazooie can't help but think of the draft.]

... It's different here, though. Y'know? Just... it isn't like what I've seen.

... Like, people come back, but... not the same way. [In her world, they pretty much just rematerialize a few minutes later.]

How does it differ?

Uh... when I beat up enemies in my world, they kinda disappear after a moment. But if I wait around where they were, they'll reappear again with a little sound!

[... Yes, this is as silly-looking as it sounds when Kazooie describes it.]

What kind of sound?

[Yeah it does all seem pretty goofy.]

If only it were that easy around here... but I'm guessing it's something unique to your world itself, if this happens to all the enemies. Something to do with the game-mechanics, maybe...

I dunno... it's like... a sparkly zappy noise. It's weird!

[... It's not an easy sound to describe, no.]

But yeah, I think you're right. So the mechanics in this game are different then, huh?

Whether or not it actually is a game. I guess that remains to be proven, either way. I certainly can't disprove it right now.

[One theory to add to the pile about this place!]

[Ironically, Kazooie is closer to the mark than most people, but not for the reasons she thinks she is.]

Well, I dunno. It sounds weird, to be outside a game. Never been outside of one, you know?

... Just makes more sense that this is another game I gotta be awesome in. [And this is Kazooie's version of deductive reasoning.]

Well, I've never been in one, though I wonder whether we'd be able to distinguish it from reality if we were. It's one more thing to gather evidence for...

[Which means more work. But Mulder is all excitement at the prospect of more work.]

[This is getting pretty philosophical for Kazooie...] Reality... the stuff outside a game? And... you don't think this is a game?

... I dunno how you can tell. I mean... I just know I'm in a game. Always have.

Never thought of anything else... [There's an uncertainty in her voice.]

I'm pretty sure there's a lot about Luceti that most people haven't thought of before they ended up here.

[Even for Mulder, who prides himself on keeping an open mind.]

That's for sure. I never had to think about all this weird and crazy stuff before!

[For Kazooie, it's a little mind-boggling to ask questions you don't have to.]

But you must like asking about it. You ask lotsa questions, don't you?

Asking questions is my job. Too bad I'm not getting paid for it anymore. [But he isn't acting too serious about that, really he's all into this with or without a paycheck.] And actually, 'weird and crazy' fits into that job description, too.

You said you got chased a lot, right? By weird stuff? Ghosts and all that?

... [She hums thoughtfully a second - it's a little raucous.] How does asking questions help with that?

Ghosts, aliens, all kinds of things that defy conventional explanation. [He thinks something over.] I was even held captive by an AI once, which... was kind of like being in a game-world of sorts. [Though not a pleasant simulation, in that case.]

As for asking questions... it's to gather information. The more perspectives I can gain on something, the better idea I'll have of the big picture here... and maybe, just maybe, I'll find enough answers about this place to find a way out.

I always thought you had to do stuff to solve puzzles... [She's much more of a doer than a thinker, which is pretty obvious.] That's how I solved them before. But I guess this is a different puzzle. I mean, there aren't any buttons to hit or anything...

No, no buttons, and no special codes to input or anything like that. [Of course, it'd be nice if it were as easy as a game.] Though there's a lot of running around and investigating, breaking into places that are restricted, and so on...

... You break into restricted places? Awesome! Do you use Grenade Eggs or something like them? [Blowing up a wall counts as breaching security, right?]

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