most_unwanted | [Voice/Action]

[There's a squelching sound of someone falling into a very muddy area. Then that someone curses under his breath, followed by the distinct sound of some very angry toads who he's disturbed. Many of whom also curse along with the general annoyed croaking.]

Hello? Who's there? Who said that? Scully, are you with me? Can you hear me? SCULLY!?!

[There's a pause, and more muddy squelching. And more grumpy voices in the background as Mulder appears to have fallen into a whole clan of toads. He seems to take this in stride though, thinking aloud as he tries to gain his bearings. He picks up the book that's near him and eyes it curiously. It's very out of place here, but he's already drawing his own conclusions.]

Let me guess. I've finally been abducted by aliens. I knew it was a matter of time, but somehow I always assumed the experience would involve less falling face down in the mud, and more probing.

Not that I want any probing, I'll pass on that opportunity.

So now the question is- aside from where the hell are my real clothes- where am I? My theories include afterlife or parallel dimension, maybe a mix of the two with a dash of government-initiated kidnapping thrown in. It's not every day you wake up in someone else's clothes with wings sprouting out of your back for no reason. Wings that hurt like a bitch when I pull on the feathers, I might add.

[Yeah he already tried that. Is it really any surprise he's already tried that?]

So what's going on here? Who's responsible for this? Was I subjected to an experiment of some kind? Kept imprisoned as a test subject and cast off to the wilderness as soon as they were done with me? Is this Russia? It better not be Russia. I didn't have such great accommodations the last time I went there.

[...and is it just him or are ALL of the toads in the area looking ready to gang up on him? He's deciding he's overstaying his welcome here. Time to get moving. In some direction. So Mulder can be found hurrying the rest of the way through the woods and into town. He's covered in mud and followed close behind by a whole bunch of very disgruntled toads.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You're really going to rock the tie in vacation world?

[He laughs on realizing what he's doing.]

...Ok, you have a good point. I'm already getting myself into work mode here.

[He's trying to remember the last actual vacation he's had. Probably his mini-pilgrimage to Graceland.]

Not many suits around on a normal day, anyway.

Yeah, I can imagine. I wouldn't want to draw the wrong kind of attention around here, after all. [He's glancing at shirts now, hoping to find something that at least looks to be familiar-ish.] You know, it's been forever since I've taken a vacation... I usually have to be basically forced to take time off.

[ she tries on a pair of sunglasses. ]

Kinda like now, you mean?

Cool shades. Yeah, that's pretty much what this is, isn't it? Looks like I'll have to find myself some new hobbies while I'm at it... [He pulls out some of those shirts in a row, shaking his head at a couple of them before he gets something he finally likes. And on to some pants to go with.]

I keep suggesting knitting; no one takes me seriously.

It would at least be more practical than taking up the long-lost art of pencil-tossing.

Hey, don't knock a well-thrown pencil. Those things can take out a vamp.

If you put enough force into it, they also stick pretty well into the ceiling.

...Now I have to wonder if you literally have done a pencil-staking in your time?

Pencils, picket fences, chair legs, hair sticks. I'm a resourceful girl.

If it does the job, you may as well work it. I'll never look at writing utensils the same again.

Everything can be a weapon, Mulder.

I really don't doubt that.

Take a car antenna, for example. I've slayed a vamp with one of those.

Now there's a mental image I've surprisingly never had before. But I could see how it would be effective.

Not quite as yielding as your average garrote, but still works.

I'll have that in mind if I run into any vampire attacks around here.

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