most_unwanted | [Video]

Looks like someone knew exactly what I wanted... or should I say, needed.

[The image focuses on a poster on the wall of Mulder's office area in his apartment. There are a bunch of other things pinned to the wall as well- mostly his own notes, and other things of interest he's collected over time here. But the poster is clearly the focus of the picture. Finally, Mulder moves in.]

Did anyone else catch sight of that sleigh in the sky on Christmas Eve? I know I saw something up there, and I'm pretty sure it wasn't a spaceship. This time.

You see... on my world, Santa Claus is a mythical character believed in by children... but I'm starting to wonder now if there might be something to that supposed legend of good old Saint Nick. It would explain the freaky little elves who were running around demanding things, too.

[Believing in children's fantasies is a bit of a stretch even for him usually, but after his sighting and the gift he wonders. Sure, it's just as much possible it's some trick of the Malnosso... but would that matter right now with what this means to him? He glances back to the poster. Back home, it had been burned up in that fire, along with a great deal of his work. Having it back gives him a feeling of hope and renewal.]

Maybe that's what Santa- or someone- wants to tell me. To keep believing, to never give up. It's a very different message than I'd have gotten from a fruitcake.

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I knew one person capable of teleportation. It's a rare ability, but if he could do that and clone himself...

[She pauses as something else occurs to her.]

If he could teleport even over short distances, that would explain why his girth was not a problem. It would also explain the lack of footprints from soot.

I once came across a man capable of squeezing himself into impossibly small spaces... but I think he was pretty one of a kind anyway. The teleportation theory seems plausible, it would also account for those homes that don't have a fireplace.

Being a ninja that skilled would also explain why he would know who was naughty and who was nice. He'd have to have some means of spying and information gathering.

[Honestly, at this point she's just enjoying tossing out theories.]

[He is, too. Theorizing is one of his favorite hobbies.]

Exactly, he has to be able to observe people without being seen. All in all, we should all be glad he uses those powers for good...

Quite. And that he decides to give those who are nice a present and those who aren't a lump of coal. A ninja of his caliber could be extremely dangerous if he decided to delve into vigilantism.

[It's theoretical, still, but a mildly horrifying thought nonetheless.]

[You never think of Santa Claus suddenly snapping and turning into a rogue vigilante type, but... well. That's what happens in this place, thoughts he'd never expect.]

Well, we'd better hope he never becomes disgruntled about his position or anything.

Perhaps that's what the offerings of milk and cookies are for. To keep him content with his job.

[Cookies weren't necessarily nourishing, but they did taste good. They would also explain him having a physique like that in spite of his ability to move so quickly.]

A sacrificial offering, of course. I know I'd have high job satisfaction if it entailed free cookies...

[Who wouldn't really!?]

I wouldn't call it a sacrificial offering, really, but an offering nonetheless.

[She associates sacrificial with a life being lost.]

[It's all good, he was pretty much just being flippant.]

It's not a bad set-up, getting paid in cookies...

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