most_unwanted | [Video]

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Looks like someone knew exactly what I wanted... or should I say, needed.

[The image focuses on a poster on the wall of Mulder's office area in his apartment. There are a bunch of other things pinned to the wall as well- mostly his own notes, and other things of interest he's collected over time here. But the poster is clearly the focus of the picture. Finally, Mulder moves in.]

Did anyone else catch sight of that sleigh in the sky on Christmas Eve? I know I saw something up there, and I'm pretty sure it wasn't a spaceship. This time.

You see... on my world, Santa Claus is a mythical character believed in by children... but I'm starting to wonder now if there might be something to that supposed legend of good old Saint Nick. It would explain the freaky little elves who were running around demanding things, too.

[Believing in children's fantasies is a bit of a stretch even for him usually, but after his sighting and the gift he wonders. Sure, it's just as much possible it's some trick of the Malnosso... but would that matter right now with what this means to him? He glances back to the poster. Back home, it had been burned up in that fire, along with a great deal of his work. Having it back gives him a feeling of hope and renewal.]

Maybe that's what Santa- or someone- wants to tell me. To keep believing, to never give up. It's a very different message than I'd have gotten from a fruitcake.

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Wait! Are you telling me that Santa Claus isn't even real? That all of that extensive research I did in the library is nothing but hearsay and myth?! [ You can hear the sound of some wooden thing breaking in the background. ] What?! Then what's with the delegation of presents?! The elves?! And, he was in the sky! I know I saw something that wasn't a bird up there!

[ She's very defensive about this. She doesn't want to think about how much the Malnosso know about her if they gave her this wonderful present, so she blames it on santa. ]

[Reminds him a lot of his sister reacting when he'd picked on her for still believing, as kids. Good thing he's actually not saying that, though. Quite the opposite.]

No, no, I'm not saying that, at all.

On my world, it's not... a regular thing, for adults to continue believing in Santa Claus. [Says the man who believes wholeheartedly in aliens. Childhood things are quite different, though, and for him childhood associations aren't usually happy.] But I saw that sleigh in the sky on Christmas Eve... that and those elves... it has to mean he's real. He exists.

[ She nods and considers the change in tone. ] So, in other words, in your world, Santa isn't real but he might be in another world, which is why Luceti has him. [ Or maybe Luceti just generated him. She ponders what this means. ] It's just another example on how some worlds are interconnected, I guess.

That's right... he either isn't real or he does such a good job of concealing that fact that no one believes in him once they reach a certain age. I like to think that he's around on more worlds than my own. [And hm, he's curious...] Does he exist on yours?

Nope. Luceti is the first place I've ever heard of him. I'm pretty sure him being able to deliver gifts to everyone in my world in a single night without detection would make him a ninja legend. [ Too bad she's not impressed by his lack of sneakery this year. ] He's good at concealing himself in general then. Any contact with Santa when you're younger would mean that you believe in him when you're older, also, I wonder how he doesn't mind a majority of the world thinking he doesn't exist?

It almost makes me wonder if he prefers it that way, having a little bit of mystery surrounding him... Though he would make a pretty cool ninja. Of course, he'd probably have to lose a few pounds first...

I think so! What other reason would he send a bunch of elves to make us miserable for a week or two before rewarding some of us with decent presents. [ But not her. Her present sucked. ]

Eh, there are some ninja that are a little husky, but they all belong to a certain clan that needs the fat for their jutsu. But, if you ever meet them, they'll insist they're big boned. Go along with it, unless you wish to be crushed and rolled over by them. [ It's a clan quirk |: ]

I should have known there'd be that level of variety out there. I'll keep that in mind if I run across any. [A world of ninjas is worth finding out more about, but first...] Sounds like you had a particularly demanding set of elves after you?

You don't know the half of it. They were, by far, the most neediest guests in Luceti's entire existence. I actually started to forget what they do, and why I shouldn't just drop them and lock them outside my house. They were all right at first, but the moment they got rid of all my clothes and replaced them with Santa suits... [ She sighs. ] We had a problem.

[It's a hilarious mental image in ways, but Mulder is pretty good about keeping it cool when he has to. She's obviously displeased by the whole thing.]

It sounds like yours went above and beyond their call of duty... I mean, what purpose could all of those Santa suits have even served...

Besides to freeze my ass off, I'm not quite sure. The color red is fine, but, it's winter and I'd like to keep most of my body covered. [ She opens her closet door and it seems as if a warehouse of sexy santa outfits have been overstocked in this very closet. ]

...Ah. [It would be amusing if it were on tv!? Yes. But he must not mock this.] Ok, I can see now why you'd be so upset. You'd barely have one whole regular Santa suit if you glued those together.

I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have one tank top if I pulled an outfit sewing Christmas Miracle. [ .... It's never amusing for her ): ]

At least it was a mostly harmless prank compared to what they potentially could have pulled?

Harmless? I'm freezing at nights! [ Wrong choice of words. Brrrr.... It's just so cold! ]

You haven't gone to get replacement clothes?

I wish I could but the elves have put a moratorium on non-festive outfits. [ She sighs. ] They're driving me crazy.

That's really horrible of them. I'd advise against plotting revenge though, it sounds like it might only end up worse if you tried.

Hm, well, I'm sure if Santa gave me a gift this year despite the fact that I killed people at the draft, he wouldn't mind me placing all of the orange juice in places their tiny bodies can't reach!

[ HA! SHE SHALL GAIN VICTORY OVER THESE CREATURES!! ]

So you got a prankish gift as a result of playing pranks on them, essentially?

[Though...]

But as far as the draft thing, I don't think killing in self-defense out there is worth being determined "naughty" or anything.

Well, I haven't placed all of the orange drink out of their reach yet. It's just a response to the prankish gift.

I'm not quite sure if it counts as self-defense. I could have done other things with my time besides sniping the wings off of other people. Like, during part of the draft, I looked after a little girl and made sure she didn't die.

It sounds like a fitting punishment, just make sure you don't go overboard and invite more retaliation from them.

Well... you did something for the greater good, they surely have to look at that. Protecting people should carry a lot of weight, or so I'd think.

Well, they're leaving soon so I don't think there's much that they can do, and we probably aren't going to see them next year.

Yeah, but, just what is the greater good? The Malnosso, and their motives are a bit shrouded. And, certainly they have enough people to fight for them? We're just their lab rats.

I think we'll all be glad to see them go.

Hm... Well, in this case I'd define "greater good" as protecting fellow villagers. Some of the people who get sent out there aren't able to fight.

Hmm, well, I know that but most villagers that don't fight don't actually go on the frontlines. They're usually isolated. I guess all of that babysitting I did on the moon didn't make me look completely repulsive to Santa. [ Woo! ] I guess that's a victory.

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video if it's not already....

video is good!

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Sorry for the brief delay! I just had my wisdom teeth extracted!

totally a good reason to delay, as long as needed! I hope the recovery is going ok!

It is! My face is kinda shaped like squidward's house but that's ok.

OUCH. D: the worst of it is over I hope!

it is! the swelling is down, by, like, a lot.

that's a good sign!

it is!