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[Now he's had more time to practice filters, he's trying one out. He's sure this matter has been brought up before at some point in time anyhow, so it's not like it's too sensitive. But he has to ask, since it seems like people never discuss it. At the moment, Mulder can be seen holding a small handheld mirror and tapping it absentmindedly into the palm of his other hand. He has a thoughtful expression on his face.]

...I bet it's been tried before, but... Has anyone ever had the barcode on the back of their neck examined? Is there a doctor in the house, or anyone with a medical background who's ever tried removing it from someone? ....Or maybe just someone in possession of a state of the art grocery store scanner to check it out? [What, YOU NEVER KNOW.] For that matter, can we be entirely sure they haven't implanted anything additional in us?

Aside from that, I'm almost starting to feel a sense of routine and normality, between my ongoing quest to commune with the spirits and now working on what's essentially becoming the Lucetian X-Files. I have some faint hope that documenting the experiments will give me a better understanding of this place. Although I would kill for a computer to type them out on. Uh... not literally kill, for the record.
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A flood of newcomers means I get to officially upgrade my New Feather badge to the next level... [Warning! Warning! Incoming snark mode!] Welcome to paradise, everyone. The food is free, but the TV reception is terrible, the recreational activities consist of reality-altering experiments which will make you wish you were on reality-altering drugs, and the vacation staff running the place have a mysterious fetish for wings. Overall I give this resort a half star. You really should have gone to Disneyworld instead.

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It is why I would wish to take the sample from myself. Not only am I more-or-less aware of what is "normal" for me, but I am also quite capable of giving consent to myself. That being said, taking multiple samples would be the most effective method of confirming what might be going on when it comes to the barcodes.

... It is possible that the Malnosso did falter somewhere, and we simply did not notice. The thing is, even if the Malnosso do make mistakes, they are so good at covering their own traces that we are obliged to be constantly playing mental catch-up with their techniques.

[Robert sighs a little bit.] I wish they would simply talk to us.

... Is it possible the signal could be piggybacking on our own biological output? Galvanic response, heat, pheremones?

Just opened up a path! All it took was my Keyblade.

I've met far too many of those types in my line of work.

Ouch, now that's some exceedingly crappy timing on behalf of our ever friendly abductors. Of course, they probably did that deliberately, to test how you would react, in that state...

I'm glad to hear that you're at least better for now.

[When you often can't sleep and end up watching TV at weird hours like Mulder, you run across the random marathons of old forgotten shows. Well. And infomercials. ~~And then there's certain pay per view channels when the mood strikes.~~]

Considering that I come from a place and time where South Park just came into existence... I'd say that things are very different. [Yeah, you have NO IDEA and probably it's best not to.] Still, I didn't realize that such a place existed, I wonder if it's like that for all characters in general...

So when you get a heart you said that you can leave the Wasteland? Where can a cartoon go from there?

Then I suppose my boyhood dream of owning my own phaser will go unfulfilled? And if I want anything that's actually useful, I'll need to think carefully about what I wish for...

[Luckily, Oswald refuses to have anything to do with cartoons that aren't Disney. If he were to ever watch South Park, the rage would be unfathomable.]

Where else? Back to bein' a celebrity, of course! Once a character makes a comeback, there's new cartoon shorts to be made. Or even... [Considerable pause.]

A feature film.

Could you tell me more about that Keyblade?

Does 'reasonable' have to go under the constraints of the science and technology of my own world?

Very possible, maybe even some combination of all of the above and then some. I'm thinking this theory could go a long way in explaining the readings everyone seems to be getting universally around here...

I don't blame you, it's hard to tell offhand who'd be willing... but the more tests you can run, the better. I'll offer up mine too, even if I'm just a plain-old standard earthling. [He still wishes he had Scully around to help with this situation. She's never far from his mind, especially when it's something that he knows she'd have done for him.]

If they were to talk to us too much, and get too close to us, they'd end up in a position where more of their flaws would be exposed. They'd thus give up some of their power. And they couldn't have that. Which makes it frustrating for trying to understand them. I can profile them as a collective, but damned if they make it difficult to get a handle on them as individuals...

Instead, they hide in their 'safety', far removed from the people they're affecting, as they plot and scheme to conceal the truth of their wrongdoing. [He sounds pretty worked up there, but this is one of the things that really gets him livid.]

[Ok, Mulder definitely appreciates the enthusiasm in that. It reminds him of the passion he puts into his own work.]

Well, I hope you get your feature film. Hopefully one that doesn't feature abductions and freaky experiments. I'm determined to find a way out of here and back home, so... it could happen someday.

I think in this case, it was the best that could be done.

Yeah. It got me some time back.

Phasers aren't all they're cracked up to be.

Hey, ya know what? This actually would make a great feature film! Featurin' me as the hero, the Malnosso as the villains... We've already got the talking forest critters, too! You can be the comedy relief sidekick. Do ya know how to sing?

Probably? I can't say, not knowing what's available to your world. But it's worth asking.

If that's how the signal is being sent, I can find it.

It would necessitate two samples; untouched skin, and a tissue biopsy of the barcodes - for comparison purposes. My nanocomputer is not the ideal for this kind of work, but it is far better than any of the scanners here would likely be.

... And of course there would need to be an emergency medical doctor on hand, just in case these biopsies would trigger some sort of fail-safe. [Which is a terrifying thought. He doesn't want to accidentally kill himself.]

You are correct in that it would put them in such a position. But it would be more effective for both of us. If our goals - getting home again, or at least making it possible to return - align, then why do they not engage us on our terms? We represent so much collective information which could be at their disposal if they treated us well, but they refuse to offer even that basic level of ethics.

[Robert shakes his head. It angers him too, that they won't cooperate and instead torture them from a distance. He sees the potential of a coalition, but it's dying in front of him.]

...it'll just grow back.

X-Files? You gotta be fuckin' kidding me.

Sure!

[Here, he'll even summon it just to show what it looks like.]

Keyblades are really powerful weapons that're used to protect the worlds. They're sorta like swords, but they can open any lock, and they can be used for magic, too.

I had a feeling it might. Can you confirm that to be a fact?

...Yeah, the X-Files. Wait, you know of them? [Is this going to be one of those odd mind-bending conversations again? Oh well, Mulder is down with stuff like that.]

If only my partner were here... [He sighs a little.] She's a medical doctor, and would have been very useful for this kind of procedure. But still... I'd like to see what we can find out. Your nanocomputer sounds like it's a very advanced piece of equipment.

...That's a good point. I spend so much time hating their guts for what they do to us that I keep forgetting that we're really after the same thing, ultimately. With people from so many worlds represented here, I'm sure we could come up with a solution between all of us.

You could? I'd be really curious to know if you find anything, if you end up giving it a try.

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